Here's a sentence that was in a story I edited today:

Thomas enjoyed a short leave in Tokyo, and recalled: "We lived in luxury, stayed at a hotel with a bathtub ... ordered big sirloin steaks with french fries, and enjoyed a quart of chocolate milk."

The colon with and recalled bothered me. There are times when colons can be used to introduce quotations, but this one is awkward.

One problem is the colon after the verb recalled. You should try not to use colons after verbs. Don't write, "Her shopping list included: Apples, milk, bread, and pasta." (It makes more sense to write it this way: Her shopping list included apples, milk, bread, and pasta. Notice how I used a colon in the previous sentence, but it is placed after a noun, not a verb. That's the way you should use them.)

Another problem is the dialogue attribution recalled. Writers should stick to said for dialogue attribution, not shouted, slurred, stated, recalled, or other kinds of fancy attribution. Said is an invisible dialogue attribution. Others call unwanted attention to them and distract readers. (An exception is asked for questions.)

A quick way to clean up this sentence is to insert a period after Tokyo, and delete and recalled:

Thomas enjoyed a short leave in Tokyo. "We lived in luxury, stayed at a hotel with a bathtub ... ordered big sirloin steaks with french fries, and enjoyed a quart of chocolate milk."

The reader will know that the quote is from Thomas because of the context, and turning the one sentence into two while getting rid of the colon makes the paragraph snappy and clean.

Tomorrow, I'll offer a tip to improve your writing.

One of the mistakes I enjoy finding the most is shown in the following sentence:

John and his wife Sarah took a trip to Cancun this summer.

Unless John is a very traditional Mormon, or perhaps an Arabian prince, I'm guessing he has one wife. But the sentence above indicates Sarah is one of many wives. Why? Sarah should be surrounded by commas if she is John's only wife.

The reason has to do with essential and nonessential information. If you have a clause in a sentence that is essential to the meaning of the sentence as a whole, then that clause should not have commas around it. But, if the clause is extra information that you could delete without changing the meaning of the sentence, then it needs to be surrounded by commas. (Commas show that the clause is a passing thought, but not necessary.) Take a look at these examples:

Nonessential clause: John and his wife, Sarah, went to the movies.

Notice that if we leave the nonessential clause out, we still know who John went to the movies with, because he has only one wife.

Essential clause: John Smith and his wife Anne went to the movies, while his other wives stayed home and sewed quilts.

To show you that Anne  is essential, let's take the first part of the example sentence and assume that John Smith has many wives, but then take the essential clause out: John Smith and his wife went to the movies.

If John has many wives, then we don't know which one he took to the movies if we leave her name out. Her name is essential to the meaning of the sentence. 

Here is another example to help explain essential and nonessential clauses. Let's assume John and Sarah in this example have one daughter:

John and Sarah gave a present to their daughter, Ruth.

Now, let's assume that John and Sarah have two daughters:

John and Sarah gave a present to their daughter Ruth. (Showing which daughter got the present.)

Consider Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson Jr.

Is there something missing from that name? Does there need to be a comma before Jr.? You might be used to putting one there. It's not wrong if you do, but you don't need to. The Chicago Manual of Style and the AP Stylebook say no comma is needed.

You could debate whether Jr. is an essential or nonessential clause, but if it is nonessential it seems that there would need to be another comma after it. Do yourself a favor and keep it simple--leave the comma out.

Let the war begin. Let's say there is a girl named Tess. And let's say that Tess has a dog. Would it be Tess's dog, or Tess' dog?

You can almost see the armies line up on hills opposite each other. One group of ragtag warriors have red pens as weapons, ready to write in a missing "s," and for shields they carry Strunk and White's Elements of Style. On the other hill is another group, somewhat younger. They have large erasers for weapons, ready to remove the pesky "s," and for a weapon they have the AP Stylebook, along with some other modern grammar guides, like Woe is I and Lapsing into a Comma. Which side is right, and which is wrong? The answer is both. Although both sides might fight to the death, this is not a matter of right or wrong. It is a matter of style. 

Many writers who are familiar with the classic guide by Strunk and White follow their command to "form the possessive singular of nouns by adding 's." That would include proper names (except for ancient proper names).

Other guides will tell you proper names that end in "s" need only an apostrophe, not an apostrophe and "s."

Try not to get too upset by the fact that there is no one way to do it. Just use the style that you like (and the style your publisher wants).

Ellipsis points are the row of periods, or dots, that signify an absence of information or a pause in speech. Writers often wonder how many dots to use. The answer: Only and always three:

The soldiers marched with their packs and weapons … stopping only when they reached the river.

Wait a minute. If you’ve done much reading at all, you have seen four dots used here and there. (I’ve seen anywhere from two to six dots used for an ellipsis.) The four dots you’ve seen are really an optical illusion. What you are seeing are the three dots for the ellipses (only and always three, remember?) and the period from the preceding sentence:

Jim threw the shifter into reverse and hit the accelerator. … Pedestrians jumped out of the way when the car slammed into the fruit stand.

Think of the ellipses as a three-letter word. There should be spaces surrounding it on both sides, just like a word. If you’re quoting someone, you should generally not use an ellipsis at the beginning or end of a quote. Some programs allow you to put half-spaces or non-breaking spaces between the dots in an ellipsis to keep it from breaking at the end of a line. An ellipses should be treated as one unit and should never break.